JEK

Well, I know. I know too well that I've already took so long time leaving this box. So many things left unsaid as well. But, I never run out of the things I want to spill. I just had a difficult situation on how I can get my solitude alone blissful time. I am sorry for the error grammar there. But, you know, That is the only way I can get my energy back. I need my alone time. I am a tacky conservative introvert bitch. Please, understand me. I am not sad, just want to be alone. 

I do sometimes having a hard time explaining to my good friends about this. They frequently consider myself mad or angry while I just want to be alone. When one of them reaches my point, the response still surprises me," Why are you like to be alone? it is sad, isn't it?". No, my good friend I am all fine, I am not sad or even mad. I just need to recharge myself by having alone time. 

Leave that one behind, then. I finally can have one right now. Just me and good books. That's it. Yeah, and wi-fi. 

Another part is, I kind of also have a disappointment. I had this over my own self. I hate it that I can't maintain (healthy) relationship towards somebody, (only with you, apparently). I can not and will not ever choose whose side I am going to be with. No. 

Why do I have to choose in the first place? 

Do I always have to choose to keep the relation?

I am not going to do choosing aside, never. But, that doesnt make me less care of you. I just do not want to involve on your cheesy love life drama. I dont want to be a part on what you and your insignificant other put. Shit, that's utterly stupid, if you may know. I disappointed that the point I tried to deliver, you threw away. You may also feel the same cause I shut the mouth up, knowing all this. 

The short is, if you need me, I still be here. I appreciate all the memories and sharing that made us closer. I am happy being friends with you. I like to discuss and talk with you. We cherished being a conservative introvert. But, I just dont want to involve on that stupid drama. 

Maybe you dont need those. It is alright, I can fully understand. 

May the happiness doesnt make you deaf and blind. I hope you OK wherever you are.