Mary Jane

   I clearly remember how I cheerfully supported Jokowi last year. Also, how I admired him as a person still lingers until now. I did feel happy and moved about his winning on presidential election for I have told all my beloved ones to choose him. I still hold my reason on why did I choose him, why not the other one? The reason is, therefore, his concern on human rights issue in Indonesia.

  Months passed, his works is being viewed. Nothing much happens on Indonesia in his's. Honestly, I become more and more skeptical seeing Indonesian political matters. More and more depressed whenever read anything that correlates to governmental policies. I always whisper to myself, "where the fuck are you, Jokowi?"  

  The exact same matter occurs also when I see many the use of the death penalty against foreign citizens to fight drug trafficking. Nope, no. I can not just be skeptical, it rushes me to tears. After Bali Nine, this very time, Indonesia is about to execute Mary Jane on 29/04/2015. The execution of Mary Jane once again will not improve or even make our sustainability towards drugs trafficking in Indonesia gets better. Otherwise, it will depict clearly that we are that lazy to do deep research about her case. Mary Jane is not a perpetrator, she is a victim of international narcotic mafia's massive crime.  

   Where are you now, Mr Jokowi? will you listen to us? will you react on rejection of Mary Jane's execution for she is a truly victim of human trafficking, victim of our unfair law system, also international narcotic's mafia's crime? 

   I will not sorry that I no longer have that kind of admiration left just like I had over you last time. 

JEK

Well, I know. I know too well that I've already took so long time leaving this box. So many things left unsaid as well. But, I never run out of the things I want to spill. I just had a difficult situation on how I can get my solitude alone blissful time. I am sorry for the error grammar there. But, you know, That is the only way I can get my energy back. I need my alone time. I am a tacky conservative introvert bitch. Please, understand me. I am not sad, just want to be alone. 

I do sometimes having a hard time explaining to my good friends about this. They frequently consider myself mad or angry while I just want to be alone. When one of them reaches my point, the response still surprises me," Why are you like to be alone? it is sad, isn't it?". No, my good friend I am all fine, I am not sad or even mad. I just need to recharge myself by having alone time. 

Leave that one behind, then. I finally can have one right now. Just me and good books. That's it. Yeah, and wi-fi. 

Another part is, I kind of also have a disappointment. I had this over my own self. I hate it that I can't maintain (healthy) relationship towards somebody, (only with you, apparently). I can not and will not ever choose whose side I am going to be with. No. 

Why do I have to choose in the first place? 

Do I always have to choose to keep the relation?

I am not going to do choosing aside, never. But, that doesnt make me less care of you. I just do not want to involve on your cheesy love life drama. I dont want to be a part on what you and your insignificant other put. Shit, that's utterly stupid, if you may know. I disappointed that the point I tried to deliver, you threw away. You may also feel the same cause I shut the mouth up, knowing all this. 

The short is, if you need me, I still be here. I appreciate all the memories and sharing that made us closer. I am happy being friends with you. I like to discuss and talk with you. We cherished being a conservative introvert. But, I just dont want to involve on that stupid drama. 

Maybe you dont need those. It is alright, I can fully understand. 

May the happiness doesnt make you deaf and blind. I hope you OK wherever you are.

Mel Gibson and Christ

Christ and Mel Gibson. Faith and Violence. Those are things which market never punishes. So does with bad taste. I watched The Passion of The Christ and I can assure you that I can prove it. The Passion of The Christ is a perfect example of how director made something that can be called Faith Porn. 

What we know about pornography? Pornography often relates to something inappropriate. A term to  shows human body in a lustful way, creates an excitement optimally. In porn, details are more matter than totality (totality here relates to all physical activities). Just like porn, The Passion of The Christ breached all taboo things. 

Rouault in 1937 depicted Christ in his painting. There is an enigmatic, gloomy, charismatic, and mystery in that impasto technique and the thick lines. He brought the classic crucifixion painting tradition which signed with certain distance between the painter and Golgotha. When seeing his painting, we can embrace what Goethe ever said, "We draw a veil over the sufferings of Christ, simply because we revere them so deeply." But, Mel Gibson ripped that veil away in 2004. His Golgotha was full of close-ups under the sun, with bloody cut body, gawking wound and flesh that scattered from the endless trouncing. Like a hyperbole, The Passion of The Christ is a porn. Every hyperbole was considered to be relevant. Yeah, this movie showed what was the relevant thing, therefore (not love or affection) exasperation torture and the great pain of sufferings. 

Georges Rouault - Crucifixion (1937)

One Is Not Born, But Rather Becomes, A Woman - Beauvoir

Being a feminist is not about trying to imitate men, hatred to men, burning bras or naked. Being feminist is about free to decide who you want to be, how to act and be responsible to your choice. It is not a shame to demand respect. 

Source: @grenta's journal

Hard to Spell, Easy to Practice: Misogyny

Being a woman is suck, she said. At a second the wrinkle on the forehead shaped, presenting disagreement. But then, slowly the wrinkle gone, the eyes were pointing to a random object, still thinking. Ah, ya she is not that wrong. I can follow her saying about that. Like it or not, I must admit that being a woman in this patriarchal and misogynist country is utterly suck. The pain of having menstruate every month is not enough, women have also facing affliction, oppression, underestimation, silly cat-calling, and stereotyping, labeling from society.

Being a widow, by a divorce or death separated, is a major deal on this society. By having that status, you have to ready that people will stare at the back and make the opinion that you are about to lose the wealth or poor or difficult to suffice the daily needs for you and the children as well, because there is no spouse to do so for you. 

 I have secret for you, society, protect your own lover or husband to not fall for them, do not let them chat too long, help too often, or even laugh with them. 

By having status as a widow, every main thing will connect to economy and sexual theme. Economy theme will lead their thoughts that you are easy to lean on everyone that has lots of money. Also, It is not a problem being in affair with somebody's husband or being a second or third or so, as long as you can bath money. Well, if  money is not the main thing you count, it is alright to still have someone who holds or shares sexual desire with you. It is because you are so lonely, right? I am damn right. 

Fuck it, people.

Just fuck it. I can not process or even accept that way of thinking. Being widow for a woman is much harder. People use the word 'widow' to allow their logical fallacy of thinking to be true. With the word 'widow' for a women, people disgustingly related to anything lower; economy, morality, behavior. (I am sorry, I related this to my nearest experience). Cut that off!!!

Being a widow for a woman is a real struggle. If you, my good friend, want to know what they really pass on their life is, they actually spare their major time to work and pray. They try to stand up again after losing their life partner to continue the life. Life is keep walking and have to be continued even with the unlikeliest way. There is no time to think about so, to think about what most people have in mind about them and their activities. 

Clean up the mind, spare the time to think that stereotyping and labeling just make your head narrower. Do not see them by the status, but simply human. Respect them just like you want to be respected by others. 

The society is not yet mature enough, can not hope big on it though. But for you, my friends, I hope you do not swim your mind to those rushes. Please turn back, be mature and just respect everyone. For you who struggles on this patriarchy and misogyny world, my friends, even though we may not meet, cry, kiss or, even laugh together, I love you. With all my heart. 

Work of Words

People still have difficulty to move on since the movie Ada Apa Dengan Cinta? (What's With Love?) was aired again on telly. It could be said, regarded as one of many legendary movies in Indonesia. 12 years had passed since it aired on cinema then it back again with the sequel, which was sponsored by Line (kind of android chatting application). If I may give conclusion, the sequel was Blah!(capital B).Really, you do not have to see it, does not change anything but craving to see the 12 years old version. Seeing the old version also brought to another conclusion that actually Ada Apa Dengan Cinta (What's With Love?) is just like usual romantic teenage movie. The thing that made it legendary was (maybe) when it first launched in 2002, not many Indonesian movie was produced. 

It is just silly conclusion from a toothless then, so beat it. Anyway, still the movie had triggered people to read more of Chairul Anwar's works (tough, major of us only know Binatang Jalang) and Rangga officially became a favorite boyfriend material icon. Still, this four thumbs will be given to Line for such marketing strategies, really smart way to go (besides all of those crappiness and too much slow motion effect, for sure). They played with ex-Indonesian teenagers with memory, no one can refuse it. Good job, Line!

For I am an adorer of works of words, I still like it the poem that heard in the end of movie. It goes like this,

Perempuan datang atas nama Cinta

Bunda pergi karena Cinta

Digenangi air racun jingga adalah wajahmu

Seperti bulan lelap tidur di hatimu

Yang berdinding kelam dan kedinginan

Ada apa dengannya?

Meninggalkan hati untuk dicaci

Baru sekali ini aku melihat karya surga dalam mata seorang hawa

Ada apa dengan Cinta?

Tapi pasti aku akan kembali 

Dalam satu purnama untuk mempertanyakan kembali cintanya

Bukan untuknya, bukan untuk siapa

Tapi untukku

Karena aku ingin kamu

Itu saja.

Best way to woo women, there you go! Another work of words that founded amazing is on Vivian Idris. It goes like this,

Hari ini aku panah yang lepas

Menerabas jalan-jalan kota

Menerbangkan debu-debu jalan

Mengacaukan tenang daun-daun

Menyambar api yang kusematkan di rambut-rambut kota

Dan menari diiringi lagu kebangsaan

Tuhan, Bapak, Ibu

Aku ingin membangkang.

It seems I started to make another out of topic subject, so better end here. But, if really the past greet you again, would you greet them back? Or leave it then? Or what? Because I myself will respond "oh, fuck" instead of, "jadi satu purnama di...." well, it is just me. 

The Look of Silence (SENYAP)

I was having a little tantrum because of unpredictable notification on Gmail. That immature rage brought me to  Taman Ismail Marzuki alone, I was hoping that I still got the chance to watch documentary movie titled The Look of Silence by Joshua Oppenheimer. For you, who already have watched Jagal: The Act of Killing, must be know who that guy is. He is the director of both Jagal and The Look of Silence documentary movie.

The Looks of Silence's movie poster

I myself was more into this one than Jagal, both were amazingly disturbing but The Looks of Silence was more surreal and emotional because it used the view point of a Mother. The first line which a Mother sung in the beginning of the movie made my eyes swollen. Joshua was a wrecker because he made me laughed but guilty in the next second, until I could not anymore laughed. People were still bursting that they forgot about the object that they were laughing at,was the victim of deepest sadness and sorrow, who finally lost and chose to forget the sadness, then be numb in his 100th. This documentary movie, once again question the humanity issue in Indonesia and depict how Indonesian people see it. The result is unfortunately disappointing. You can see the culmination point of anger, sadness, disappointment, confused, and  rage on his eyes.

Adi Rukun (the main actor of SENYAP, brother of Ramli allegedly PKI)

History subject that our teachers had taught us in Elementary School to Senior High School just delivered a dichotomic conclusion, therefore bad or evil, right or wrong. It did not leave the students think critically cause the teacher just put in the dogma. That is what happens on our society seeing communism and G30S PKI. They blabber that communism is an atheist system, need to be demolished, so it is okay killing somebody that an atheist. Killing and drinking their blood, if I my add. Can you process that? killing somebody because one allegedly an atheist and drink their blood to keep sane? This is about humanity (and I believe no religion order their people to do so as well), no one allows to kill  another for being so. It is a violence of human rights! Our symbolic society keep choosing to be deaf anyway. 

Well, I ran out of the words. I can not say much but BRAVISSIMO to this work. I hope this kind of work will slowly but sure, open up the eyes of our society facing Indonesian humanity issue. Let us stop that gengsi act and mind this issue. I also hope many Indonesian sineas will be brave bring up this topic to us to a larger space. Thank you, Oppenheimer!